Taxi No. 1
Outside our hotel the porter wants to know where we’re going and whether we need a taxi. Center World Plaza, we tell him, the largest shopping mall in Bangkok - at least until the 500,000 square meter Siam Paragon Center opens next door to it on December 9th.
"No problem, the hotel car can take you there. 300 baht."
That’s about $7.50. Now we happen to know that the Plaza is less than half a mile from here, a 10 minute walk. (Neither of us is feeling well today, so we are treating ourselves to a cab. And to a hotel for that matter.)
$7.50 would be crazy in New York. Here in Bangkok it should cost about 500 baht for the 40 minute drive to the airport. No thanks.
Taxi No. 2
We walk down the exit ramp of the hotel, planning to hail one of the cheap and so far reliable metered cabs. A man runs out of the crowd calling to us: "Sir, lady, where you go? You want cab?" We tell him.
"No problem sir, 30 baht."
75 cents. Walk 15 feet and the price drops by a factor of 10. We agree and get into his car.
"OK, I take you to Center World Plaza, but first I have favor to ask. I take you to import/export…"
"No, thank you."
"… company, it’s very…"
"No"
"… good, they have one-day…"
"No"
"… sale, I have coupons for you."
"No, no, no, no."
"Why not?"
Summer and I jump out of the car at the same time.
Taxi No. 3
Still within sight of drivers 1 and 2, we flag down a metered cab and glide off. He starts the clock for what turns out to be a 45 baht ride - about a buck.
Unfortunately this one doesn’t speak any English and can’t read the map we hand him. He just takes us to the wrong place and drives off.
We give up and walk the rest of the way.
Taxi No. 4
On our way back, we ignore the hustlers, the suicidal motorbike taxis, and the homicidal tuk-tuks, and wait patiently for one of the metered cabs that boasts an English-speaking driver. (These bear a sticker with the somewhat disconcerting slogan "I <heart> foreigners" - disconcerting because it reminds me of phrases like "Now I’m not a racist, but…")
One pulls up, we get in, and we tell the driver the name of our hotel.
"Oh no, very bad. One-way system. 200 baht."
I admire his mastery of the expression ‘one-way system’, and notice that his meter is covered up. Summer and I sigh and reach for the door handles.
"No, no, wait. What do you want to pay?"
I <heart> Bangkok.